My daughter is not broken

Ever since we found out that Shea is Deaf, we have been dealing with professionals, experts, friends and family alike who have the opinion that Deafness is a disease that needs to be cured.  Everyone from grandparents to Doctors inquired about our intentions of getting Shea a Cochlear Implant (CI).  Naturally.  Something between Shea's ears and brain was broken, so let's fix it....right?  We couldn't agree LESS, actually.  Our beautiful daughter is happy, healthy and can communicate her wants and needs to us very clearly using ASL.  We see no reason to put her through the major surgery that would be required for a CI.  We researched, discussed, worried, obsessed, and came to the decision that we would not make that choice for her.  She wasn't even 1 yet when people were telling us we should find out if she was a candidate and have her head cut open so that she might be able to hear.  That's right, there is no guarantee that it would be successful.  And even if it is successful, Shea would still never hear the same way "normal hearing" people hear.  No, I'm sorry, I will not subject my child to that trauma just so that she might be able to hear the nonsense that people spew on a daily basis, or so that she might be able to speak.  Would I love to hear my daughter verbally say "Mommy, I love you"??...Of course I would!  Will I sacrifice her happiness and peace of mind to do it??  Absolutely not!  It is not more important for her to speak than it is for her to read and write English properly.  Hearing is not a prerequisite to that.
What many people forget to consider is the child's sense of identity.  Many CI recipients suffer from a poor self image.  Not only because of the implant itself being noticeable, but because they are not really hearing, and at the same time they are not really Deaf.  Our daughter is a very self-confident little girl who loves to play, run, be the center of attention, and dance...yes, she loves to dance!  We're not going to risk her sense of self worth so that we don't have to bother learning ASL.
Now it should be noted that we are fully aware that, no matter what choice we made, there will be individuals who disagree with us....strongly.  That's fine.  You have a right to your opinion, and you have a right to do what's best for your family.  We have chosen to do what we feel is best for our family.  We are learning ASL together, as a family.  We are sharing our new found knowledge with anyone who is willing to learn.  We have immersed ourselves in the Deaf Community and have come to know many new friends in doing so.
At the same time, once Shea is old enough to fully understand what is involved with the surgery and aftercare of getting a CI, if she wants to do it, we will support her 100%.  Our main goal is to raise a happy, healthy, confident and productive member of society.....whatever it takes.
In the meantime, we will continue our education in ASL, try to find the best schools for her, take her everywhere we go, immerse her in Deaf Culture, teach her to read & write English, give her new experiences, take her to new places and love her as she is.....beautiful, perfect, happy, loving and self-confident.

Learn a new sign today with Signing with Shea on Facebook.

Communication is more than key

As parents, we want to do what's best for our children.  Sometimes that means making a decision that we think is best.....and then just hoping that it is.  As parents of a deaf child, there are so many more decisions that you just don't otherwise think about.  One of those is at the forefront of our world right now - school.  Yes, we always want to send our kids to the best school possible, but for us that means deciding between Deaf school or "mainstream" school.  And we have heard SO many opinions on this.  From deaf people who went to public school, from deaf people who went to Deaf school, and from concerned family and friends.  The bottom line is that we have to do what we feel is best for our daughter.  Right now that means finding a way to move to NY so that she can attend Rochester School for the Deaf.  Their program is incredible!
But the most important thing is that we continue to learn ASL so that we can communicate with our daughter as she gets older.  So that we can ask her for her opinion on where she would rather go to school.  So that she always knows that she can come to us with anything that she may want to discuss and that we will take the time to see what she has to say and to understand her.  I never want my daughter to feel out of place at holiday gatherings or family functions.  I know we have so much to learn, and sometimes it seems daunting, but when I look back at how far we've come....together, as a family, I am so proud and I know we can do it, no matter what it takes.  I mean, 3 years ago we had almost zero knowledge of ASL, and now, we attend Deaf Church, have many Deaf friends, and can carry on conversations with them and with our daughter.  Are we slow? Yes!  Do they make accommodations for us and slow themselves down for us, even spelling when needed?  Yes!  But we're doing it!  We're learning and growing every day, and I wouldn't trade this crazy life for all the riches in the world.  And we are so grateful to the Deaf Community for welcoming us with open arms.  Thank you!
Now, go learn a new sign today at Signing with Shea on Facebook!