Ups and Downs

I know that life, in general, is filled with tragedies and triumphs, but sometimes it just feels like I can barely enjoy one success before my bubble gets burst. This past Sunday we took Shea to Deaf Family Christian Fellowship, which is a local group that meets once a month to share the word of God via ASL.  And there are also many family members of the Deaf, as well as ASL students and interpreters in attendance as well, so someone voices service for those of us who are 'sign-impaired'.  We go to expose Shea to as many positive Deaf role models as possible. And it's a great help to us in learning more sign.  We had a GREAT day!  Shea made the rounds and sat with three different people during bible study.  She was such the little show-off.....she totally knows when she is the center of attention, and she loves every minute of it!
And then....Monday came.  And with Monday came "testing" by our speech therapist.  Testing that was requested by the preschool, which she will be attending beginning in April.  Testing that is NOT designed for Deaf children who use ASL.  I have several issues with this testing.  First, all of the testing objects were new to Shea.  They consist of toys that a required action is to be performed with, such as "the bear is hungry, can you give the bear something to eat?", and books where particular objects or scenes are to be pointed out.  Shea is not even 3 years old yet.  What do you think she wants to do when she sees a new toy or book?  Right!  Play with it!  Her focus was not on what our speech therapist was trying to get her to do, but rather on what these cool new toys and books were all about!  It was so frustrating for me.  And for Shea, who became quite irritable when she was not allowed to simply play however she liked.  Another part of the test consists of asking the child to point to a picture on the page of a particular body part.  Well, in ASL if you want to say 'eye', you point to your eye, so that whole part of the test is thrown out....even though Shea can spell 'E Y E' and 'N O S E' in ASL as well.
I just cannot begin to express my disappointment with the whole testing process for children who are not "normal".  I'll say it again......normal is anything in the main stream or the commonplace, therefore, genius is not normal!  Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that Shea is a genius, but I am one of those annoying parents who thinks my child is incredibly amazing!  She teaches me so much every day - I can only hope that one day we can make a difference in areas like this for children whose abilities need to be showcased in a different way than the boring old "normal".
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Wrap your brain around this....

As a hearing person, my brain works a certain way when it comes to language.  I hear a word and my brain automatically understands the meaning of that word.  The same applies to English, Spanish, Italian, or whatever language is spoken.  But American Sign Language....now that's completely different.  When we think of ASL, we want to immediately translate the signs into English words.  ASL doesn't work like that.  American Sign Language is a language all it's own, with totally different rules for grammar and syntax than any other spoken language.  While ASL does use an English Manual Alphabet (handshapes for the ABC's) to spell many words which do not have their own signs, that's about as far as "sign-for-word" translation goes.  On top of being a language of hand movements, ASL relies heavily on facial expressions as well. The same sign can have 2 different meanings depending on the facial expression and movement. For example, to sign that you understand something you put your closed hand near your temple and raise your index finger while nodding your head 'yes'. To sign that you do NOT understand something, you make the same exact hand movement while shaking your head 'no'.  ASL is used more to convey an idea or story than actual 'words'.  THAT is the hard part about learning ASL for hearing individuals.  We have to change the way we think about language.  We have to wrap our brain around the idea of language as being more similar to a game of charades.  Nearly every day I have to force myself to think of an alternate message of something I want to say to Shea.  I'll have an English thought in my head and have no idea how to communicate that thought to her in ASL, so I make myself think of whatever it is I want to say in an entirely different way until I figure out how to get my message across.  And it works!  Once you train your brain to think differently about language, ASL becomes much easier to understand.
One of the wonderful things that we have recently come to learn is that ASL is becoming widely accepted as a foreign language option, not only in colleges and universities, but in high schools across the country as well. We recently went to Chick-Fil-A at our local mall for supper one evening and the lovely young girl behind the counter absolutely lit-up when she saw us signing with Shea.  When we got to the counter she asked us if she was deaf and we said that she is.  This young lady was so excited she could barely contain her fingers!  She is home-schooled and had chosen ASL as her foreign language block.  Yay for homeschooling with ASL!  She was an excellent signer and I think she enjoyed conversing with us in ASL as much as Shea enjoys meeting new people to sign with.
And, of course, my favorite word comes out of all this: Sign-impaired.  Deaf people are not hearing-impaired, hearing people are merely sign-impaired.
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A Mother's Soothing Words

Last week Shea had an ENT appointment.  This  is not out of the ordinary for us.  She goes every 6 months to have the excess wax removed from her ears so that her hearing aids can help her as much as possible.  Apparently she follows in her daddy's footsteps in this area because, he too, has a wax issue.  :)
The only thing different this time was the fact that her right ear, which is her "good" ear, appeared to have fluid.  My poor baby cried and cried when the Dr. cleaned the wax out of that ear.  He had her tested and, sure enough, the test showed fluid behind that eardrum.  This may be the result of the cold she had all last week, or it could become a chronic problem.  He gave us some nasal spray and an rx to help and we will be back to see him in a month.  This was such a traumatic event for Shea that she fell asleep in my lap while waiting for the doctor after the pressure test.  She NEVER falls asleep on my lap, much less an hour before nap time!  It always hurts me when she is so upset because I know that, unlike hearing children, I cannot calm her simply with my voice.  Of course, I do talk to her, with the hopes that feeling the vibrations as I speak will somehow comfort her.  And I sign to her that everything is OK, or that the doctor is all done, or what have you.  But the ache in my heart remains because I know she cannot her me when I tell her that Mommy won't let anything happen to her.  One day I know she will understand all this more, but for now all I can do is hold her tight.